The Journey to Graduate School

I cannot begin to explain how stressed I had allowed myself to become over graduate school. The process of getting to this point in my life has been quite the journey with MANY lessons learned. It all started back in May 2011 when I graduated from Arkansas State University with my Bachelors of Science in Biology degree. I never had any intention of attending medical school so I was stuck with a degree that was going to take me nowhere. With that realization, I began working and it was during my year of working that I realized the difference in a job and a career. With this realization I knew I had no other option but to figure out how I could return to the college classroom and do what I felt called to do...speech-language pathology!

After several meetings and not taking no for answer (I know it is shocking that I would be hard headed, haha), I found myself enrolled in a full seventeen hour semester of college. You see, I had the option of only taking nine deficiency courses in a course of three semesters, or I could tack on two classes each of those three semesters and have my Bachelors of Science in Communication Disorders degree. Which do you think I chose? Yes, I chose the road that required more work (for various reasons) and will graduate (again) in May with my Bachelors of Science in Communication Disorders degree. Making this decision was not easy because there were again MANY bumps in the road. My original plan was to only take the nine deficiency courses, but I was reminded that God has a bigger and greater plan for me!

The past year and half has been quite the journey where I have been able to grow not only in my education but also within my relationship with Jesus Christ. I never knew going back to college would allow me to regain perspective of the person God created me to be. Yes, I am human, but for quite sometime I was only focused on myself and not on what God had intended for me and my life. Remember that biology degree and year of working? That was a result of following Maegan and not Jesus Christ. Thankfully, we serve a God of grace! Because of God's grace I found myself desiring His plan for my life and not what I wanted any longer. It literally took me being at my lowest point in life and completely broken to turn from myself and turn completely back to my relationship with Jesus Christ, which I had neglected, to find the direction I was meant to go.

As this past fall semester began to wrap up I found myself facing graduate school applications. The thought of this process beginning made me ill. I was so terrified of "failing" by not being accepted into graduate school. In order to practice as a speech-language pathologist I had to obtain my masters degree and if I didn't I was going to find myself right back where I had started; another degree that would get me nowhere. I turned all my applications in before my last semester of undergraduate classes started this past January even though I knew they were not due until February. Having turned them in, I began the waiting process. Anyone who knows me knows that patience is a character quality I am lacking, however, worry is something I have got under control! God's word tells us that to worry is to sin, so with that knowledge I began to ask God to allow my worry to vanish and instead give me guidance, confidence, and understanding for what my future holds.

For weeks on end that was my simple prayer. I would be lying if I said I never worried because I did, but I would be telling the truth if I told you God spoke to me in several ways. One week the stress of waiting and not knowing about graduate school, well, trying to decide if I was even a candidate compared to others I knew had applied to graduate school had really taken a toll on me. I went to Lifeway Christian bookstore and picked up a devotional book. I turned to that days date and the first sentence said, "Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role." I literally laughed and felt tears form all in the same moment. If that wasn't enough I read this is the scripture from Philippians 4:6:

After reading this scripture, as crazy as it sounds, I found myself at peace knowing that through the promise of God's greater plan for my life I would be just fine as long as I trusted and followed in the path He had planned for me. I laugh even typing this because now and then when God spoke to me it was as if he was yelling at me to make me understand He had and has everything under control. I compare it to moments in my life with my parents when I was impatient and worrying over whatever the issue may be and it took my parents using their loud, stern voice to grab my attention. I am confident that in the moments when my worries begin to take control, I will remember God is in control and I will find peace in that knowledge.

Another moment when God spoke to me through this process was the week before I found out about graduate school. I was so worried about my unknown (to me) future that I wanted so badly to go speak with my advisor about possible options for jobs if I did not get accepted into graduate school. I fought the urge and instead I came home and opened my Bible and this is what I found in Psalm 27:14:

Again, if that doesn't give you peace and understanding that God is speaking and in control then I am not sure what does. Thankfully, a week later I prayed my simple prayer of guidance, confidence and understanding one last time in regards to graduate school as I made the long walk down my parents driveway. As I opened the mailbox I found the letter I had been waiting to receive for what seemed like a lifetime. I stood in front of the mailbox, holding my letter, scared but at the same time eager to know what it said. I took a deep breath and opened my letter to find the following:

I AM GOING TO GRADUATE SCHOOL!!!!!!  To say I am excited is and understatement! I am beyond excited for this opportunity God has given me and very thankful at the same time. I know He mapped every step of this journey, and I know He will continue doing so as I start this new chapter in my life. As I said when I found out the news...TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!